Why Has My Teenage Son Gone Rebellious?
If you are the father or mother of a teenager, it is more than likely that you already know what it is that your child is rebelling at you. Some adolescents do it mildly and others more severely, but all, in one way or another, rebel against their parents. They do not do it because they want conflicts or because they love their parents less; they do it simply as a way of reaffirming themselves and showing the identity that they are forming in their personality.
When you were a teenager, it is more than likely that your parents also had to deal with your rebellion, but now that you are a parent, things have changed for you.
When teenagers rebel
For adolescents to rebel is normal; it is an act of affirmation of their independence. They want to show how they are separated from their parents and that they have a say in the decisions of their own lives. It is called “rebellion” because it consists of a constant and intense confrontation between the adolescent and his parents.
For parents, this type of rebellion can be spontaneous and illogical, but in order to cope with this behavior, it is important to understand why this happens and what are the causes of this behavior.
Causes of rebellion in adolescents
There are many reasons why your child can be rebellious, and it is important that you understand him. To do this, we are going to tell you about the most common causes:
- Independence. Your teenager wants to be independent because he is on the way to being an adult, leaving his childhood behind. It is an intermediate phase where they tend to defy the rules and not listen to what their parents say.
- Differences between children and parents. Teens question the rules and may start to differ with the tastes of their parents. This can lead to conflicts.
- Impulsiveness. Adolescents are impulsive, and therefore their decisions are sometimes not the best. The adolescent may seek excitement or approval, so they may not think rationally.
- Group pressure. The adolescent brain wants to impress her peers and, therefore, can do things to be accepted by them even if the parents don’t approve of that kind of attitude or behavior.
- Brain change. In adolescence, there is a change in the structure of the brain; the brain connections do not fully develop until after 20 years. This affects decision making, so rebellious behavior is common.
- Hormones It is known that adolescents have hormonal changes, and this can cause drastic changes in thinking. Mood and behavior can be impaired.
Although the word “rebellious” may sound negative to parents, in reality, it is necessary for the development of adolescents and for them to grow into balanced adults. Although it is a difficult stage, it is absolutely necessary.
Being rebellious is not negative.
That teenager is rebellious doesn’t have to be negative; in fact, it has its good part. Some good things are:
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- Adolescents can openly express their opinion to parents. Mature conversations start to appear when teens try to discuss the rules.
- They are more independent. Teenagers actually become more independent in different situations. They start to do things for themselves.
- They behave better socially. They begin to understand the importance of appropriate social behavior. Also, they will learn from their own mistakes.
- It feels like an adult. The adolescent “rehearses” to be an adult, and this is good for him. Healthy rebellion is important so that you begin to think like an adult in a responsible way.
- Increase confidence. You begin to have more confidence in yourself and have a good self-concept. Assertiveness and self-confidence appear.
As you can suppose, we are not referring to gifts that have to do with a lot of money or with material things that, in reality, only enhance impulsivity and the little appreciation of children towards the effort and affection that a beautiful gift supposes.
Thank you letters. Thank you letters are always a great idea to express the feelings we have for our children and give them words of encouragement whenever they need it.